Things I hope Science could do

I) Invent something to copy text from my PC monitor and paste in my writing pad or mobile.
II) A Ctrl F in books and a Ctrl F to locate glasses, purse and stuff like that in home.
III) Read people’s intentions to help you classify them instantly into “Will be great friend” or “Will backstab, keep away” or to classify boss’ sermon into “Truly means it” or “Sugar coated shit, do not pay attention”.
IV) Hunger dousing pills for occasions when you have no time at all or are too bogged down and depressed to even move a finger to arrange food!
V) Selective target honking – A lot of times while in traffic I want to honk away to glory for an idiot doing antics on road in front of me, but do not want to bother a nice guy adjacent to the idiot. There should be something to address this. Something like “Beep beep idiot UP 16 9305”!
VI) A mechanism to find songs on internet by tunes. Often it happens that you hear a short or a distant catchy tune and so desperately want to find the song, but cant. Google gods listening?
VII) A way to test out a kid and decide what would be the best career for him, wherein as they say “Love what you do and you won’t have to work for a day”. People spend lifetime and realizing what they love and what they want to do (professionally, career wise). If only there was a way out right at the beginning. Just suck out 10ml of blood, send the sample for test and tell the kid (I think class 10th is the right time) what career works best for him/her.
VIII) Cure pain for once and all, ALL Sort of, EVERY Sort of. Finger, legs, knees, head, heart!

If Ramayana was on Facebook :)

I normally resist putting content from forward mails as blog posts, but this was hilarious.
Disclaimer: Not my creation. A Hi5 to the creator!
Please click on the image and it would display clearly. I dont know why it does not in the post. Tried all settings.

Why bother waking up Sid

Wake Up Sid is not a bad movie. But that is the only compliment I can give to it. With an interesting star cast of Ranbir Kapoor, Konkana Sen and 15 funkiest Tees you would have ever seen on the bollywood big screen, you are left wanting more.
The movie does not entertain, does not blow you away, does not bring a smile or a tear, in fact it does not invoke much emotions. You don’t empathize with the character of Sid at all, which is absolutely necessary for the genre of movie Wake Up Sid intends to be.

Every scene ends up being predictable. There is one scene when the camera pans through a office cabin’s door, with the name of the person (who happens to be Konkana Sen’s boss) written on the entrance. At this point its already let known to the viewer that they are about to see Konkana’s boss. Before this scene, Konkana talks a bit about her boss. Before we get to see the boss, I thought to myself, this sounds like Rahul Khanna (the kind of role he did in love aaj kal, intellectual, good looking, charming, talented and witty boss). And I hadn’t heard even once before watching the movie,that he has a role in it, and there he was standing with his characteristic half-smile (his brother can even manage a quarter-smile!) I mean how cliché can you get, the same kind of boss we have seen in many movies. She is in awe of her initially, he asks her out, she denies, he still remains the charming lovely boss. Give me a break, we have seen this boss too many times in recent past, and that too the same actor doing it!!

And lets move on to Mr Sid. He is living life in the lap of luxury. He has this servant called chotu, who looks more ambitious and intelligent than him. Now I have no problem with spoilt brats living life to the hilt on daddy’s money. But if the movie wants us to show his growing up into a man who realizes that there has to be a direction in life, it ought to dug deep in a character, how he feels about life, his dilemmas, why he feels so, his struggle with life, I mean something on the lines of lakshya’s hrithik roshan…

All Sid does is learn to cook an egg and roam around an apartment clicking random snaps with an expensive looking camera, which again is nothing but a rich guy’s toy bought on dad’s money!

The only saving grace is extremely good looking Ranbir Kapoor and refreshing music. Sometimes I wonder why bollywood makes movies. Can’t they just release songs and promos?

In the end, I would like to pay tribute to the guy who invented the popcorn, without which I wouldn’t have been able to continue sitting in the second half of many bollywood movies.

Webster's definition of WTF!

This one is gonna be a short and crisp post.

There has been this rumor making rounds that webster dictionary is updating its definition for WTF.

The latest definition of WTF would be a picture of Obama holding his Nobel Peace Prize.

PS: - Well that is presumably floating around as a joke, but can there be a better explanation of WTF!

Cats in the cradle and the Silver spoon

Someone forwarded me these beautiful lines. Its a song by Harry Chapin.
With lyrics like this, no matter who sings it, how he or she sings it, howz the tune, I am a fan!


My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

PS:-

Here is a lovely version of this by Ugly kid joe (dont go by his name,he sings beautifully!!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3bht7S-3vI

Coming soon: Mankind's greatest invention since sliced bread

If you compile the list of modern times' greatest inventions then sliced bread,Viagra,TV are bound to get top spots (Fire and wheel are important too, but they are so boringly old now!)
But guess what could be the mother of all inventions? I read in papers yesterday that scientists are working on a pill to erase bad and embarassing memories!!!!!!!!!

Imagine,just imagine, can there be a better thing than that. It can be a cure for all non bacterial and non virus related troubles.

And guess what could be the biggest use of it : Curing heartbreaks!
What more ?

Failed in exams, wanna forget it - take a pill.
Friends had a nasty quarrel, and there egos are stopping them for calling each other back ? - Mix a pill in thier beers next time they gather at a common party!

It can solve the bloody world issues too. Seriously. Simply shove one pill down the guts of all world leaders,military generals. That would stop the border conflicts at least. Indian and Pakistani leaders could forget about the past and could surely make a new beginning.

Movie makers who are wary of their movie's success (or confident of it being a dud) can distribute these pills free with the tickets and encourage viewers to have a pill while going out of the theater so that they can leave the bad experience inside :)


And its better than Viagra. Because if it so happens that you take Viagra and still end up with a bad show, you can take up this mother of all pills the next morning and forget about the embarrassment the previous night :P

PS: - I am looking forward to it.
PPS: - And I dont use viagra!!

Sometime around midnight

And it starts...
sometime around midnight
or at least that's when
you lose yourself
for a minute or two

As you stand...
under the barlights
and the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while
and the piano's this melancholy soundcheck
to her smile
And that white dress she's wearing
you haven't seen her
for a while

But you know...
that she's watching
She's laughing, she's turning
she's holding her tonic like a crux
The room suddenly spinning
she walks up and asks how you are
so you can smell her perfume
you can see her lying naked in your arms

And so there's a change...
in your emotions
and all of these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind
of the curl of your bodies
like two perfect circles entwined
and you feel hopeless, and homelss
and lost in the haze
of the wine

And she leaves...
with someone you don't know
but she makes sure you saw her
she looks right at you and bolts
As she walks out the door
your blood boiling
your stomach in ropes
and when your friends say what is it
you look like you've seen a ghost

And you walk...
under the streetlights
and you're too drunk to notice
that everyone is staring at you
and you so care what you look like
the world is falling
around you

You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her

and you know that she'll break you
in two